i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
"One hears it a lot on airplanes: “Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs.”"
— Daniel Handler [Lemony Snicket], upon being asked "What’s your very best life advice?" (via seaballads)
(Source: man-eatingcat, via anotherhopelesshufflepuff)
ATTENTION EVERYONE IN THE LA AREA!!
My cousin, TALLON, was reported MISSING today. He is an AUTISTIC BLACK TEEN AND IS COMPLETEY NON-VERBAL. HE DOES NOT RESPOND TO HIS NAME. This young man went out for his daily bike ride, unattended, and did not come back. Tonight, HE IS IN LA BY HIMSELF. He is 6’0, 200lbs, and was last seen wearing a white t shirt and khaki shorts. PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST!!
UPDATE (10/19/14 10:37 PM) I typed this very quickly and realized that I had misread the poster, he DOES RESPOND TO HIS NAME. I apologize for my mistake, but please continue to reblog this because the situation is just as scary!!!
MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”
WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.
Aunt Mary is my new hero